The Write Refraction - Showing our World through a Different Lens

A Basic Rule of Writing is, "Show, don't tell."

But what does that really mean? Isn't writing all about story telling?

Well yes, it is, but the words you choose can show your reader the story without telling them how they should see it.

Here's an example:

I occasionally treat family members to a view through the window of my journal-through-life. Sometimes it's to their liking, and sometimes it's not. One thing I can count on, however, is that my eldest sister will always love what I write - whether she gets it or not. (It's important to have cheerleaders - but its your loving critics who'll help perfect your craft.)

Once, after she had read (what I considered) an especially 'deep and reflective piece' I overheard her comment to my son, "Your mom doesn't see the world like the rest of us do. When I look at the ocean I see the ocean, because after all, it is 'The Ocean.' Your mom looks at the ocean and sees

tiny drops of water combining to create crashing waves, or the glint of the sun dancing off ripples like light glances off the facets of a diamond."

I smiled to myself and thought: Ah...then I'm doing my job...I'm a Writer; I'm supposed to show my readers the world they live in through a different lens - and in doing so, expose them to the wonders they miss when they see only the surface of what lies before them.

That brings us back to the writing rule: "Show, don't tell." The "showing" appears in your work when you choose nouns and verbs rather than relying on adjectives - by choosing object and action words you allow the reader to see the action in her mind instead of hearing about it through your eyes.

Look closely at the example my sister used and consider her words: 'tiny drops of water combining to create crashing waves' - notice the word 'tiny' is the only adjective in that phrase. Now look at the next one: 'the glint of the sun dancing off ripples like light glances off the facets of a diamond' - no adjectives at all in that phrase. The nouns (drops; water; waves; sun; ripples; facets; diamond) and the verbs (combining; create; crashing; glint; dancing; glances) paint word pictures in the readers mind - complete with sound effects.

However, she was describing the picture the writing had painted in her mind, she was not quoting the words I had written - she wasn't even expressing the content of my message. See for yourself. Here's the piece from my journal.

“That of which I am a part is more important than which part I play.”

I took the opportunity to drive over to the coast to sit by the ocean and think the thoughts it would inspire. As I sat there, my attention was drawn to the activity of the waves, and I wondered: what happens to the water that comprises each wave when the wave is spent on the sandy beach?

So, I watched; I learned.

Some of the water remains behind - filling tide pools, sustaining the life therein; some of the water absorbs into the sand eventually to evaporate when the tide moves out and the sun parches the beach; and some of the water withdraws back into the sea to form yet another crashing wave.

The cycle continues. Each wave in its sequence: beating upon the rocks and sand; hammering its force; expending its strength; exhausting its very being - and to what end?

Eventually the shoreline is shaped by the pounding of many waves - but the wave of the moment cannot see it. This wave sees only that which is as it crashes; it does not understand how its effort adds to and builds upon the work of the waves before it; nor does it appreciate, as it gives its strength to the sand, how those waves which follow will carry on its work.

When the wave crashes, its work is done. The end of its era has arrived. Yet, the sea does not rest. With the end of each wave, a new wave follows: some larger than the last, some smaller; some crashing against rocks sending their spray high into the air, some touching the shore with barely a ripple.

“That of which I am a part is more important than which part I play.”

Each of us is like one of the drops of water - the synergy of which comprises each wave. We may not see how our work builds upon the foundation laid by those who have gone before us – and we cannot fully appreciate the importance of the walls we have raised to leave behind as support for what others will build.

As our wave crashes on the shores of life with all our might and force: Some of us will remain on the beach to sustain the life trapped in societies’ tide pools; some will simply soak into the sand and dissipate – having tried once once or twice, consumed in the doing; but others will re-group to crash again and again to re-shape societies’ shore.

Our challenge is to raise our sights and recognize we're part of a larger picture. That society as a whole will be impacted for all generations because of the role we play in that which we are part of.

“That of which I am a part is more important than which part I play.”

So, the next time you feel like your best efforts are just a drop in the ocean – remember: it takes individual drops of water to comprise the mighty waves.


It painted such a vivid picture in my sister's imagination that she could 'hear' the crash of the waves and 'see' the glint of the light on the water - although I hadn't mentioned light on the water.

The point is not so much what she saw as it is that she saw - and she marveled - not at my writing, but at the picture inside her own head. That is our goal as writers: to show our world through a different lens; to paint a picture so vivid our readers are actually transported into the scene; to allow them to see beyond what they see with their eyes. Creation is a marvelous thing - as writers we are entrusted to unlock its wonder for the rest of the world.

The Write Time, Everyday”

The best piece of advice you’ll ever ignore: “Keep a Writer’s Notebook, and write in it everyday.”

One day several years ago – before I figured out that my ‘real job’ was writing – I lamented to my husband that, “I’ll never be a successful writer! I just don't have the discipline to keep a Writer’s Notebook.” (The back of my hand was probably plastered to my forehead at the time – I’ve always had a dramatic flare.)

Innumerable times I’d bought hardbound journal-style notebooks (with elegant covers and ribbon bookmarks, of course) thinking this will be my Writer’s Notebook. I was faithful to write in them when they were new…then I’d find them again months – or years – later with only the first few pages filled.

He looked at me as though I was from some planet other than Venus and asked, “What do you mean you don’t keep a writer’s notebook?”

I patiently explained how important it is for a writer to always keep a Writer’s Notebook and fill it with her thoughts and impressions of daily life; to record bits of conversation overheard that would make a good spring-board for dialogue; to jot down bits of descriptive narrative when something captures her attention…

The longer I talked the narrower his eyes became. Finally he interrupted, “But you do that.”

“No, I don’t,” I said, “I start to, and then abandon it before it becomes a habit.”

He stopped me again. “Then what in the world is in all those boxes in the bottom of our closet?”

“Those are my notes, from…Oh my goodness…,” lightening pierced my brain, “I guess I really do keep a Writer’s Notebook!”

I can be a little dense. I had a mental image that a ‘real writer’ walked through life carrying a dedicated notebook – that only contained bits of sheer genius that poured though her pen in daily bursts of inspiration.

Then I remembered reading something somewhere that said, “You know you’re a writer if you can’t not write.” Well then, I must have already been a writer. (About three-fourths of my work week was spent writing at the time.)

While my fancy notebooks lay empty and lost, I filled steno pads by the dozen – there really were boxes of notebooks stacked in the closet just waiting to be gleaned of the gems they contained.

Following the advice to “Write Everyday,” doesn’t necessarily mean disrupting the activity of life to sit in your favorite chair and focus solely on the joyous experience of writing. You don’t even have to wait for the voice of your Muse. (Although, having that luxury would be wonderful...) If you're a writer – you write. You can’t help it. It may be on napkins, or small bits of paper, or maybe (like me) you keep pens and paper everywhere you spend significant amounts of time; making notes as they occur to you; not giving much thought to the fact you are writing. (The real task being to remember where you were when you wrote down what you need to read, now.)

But whatever you do...don’t throw it away. Keep those napkins, those post-its, those filled-to-the-margins legal pads and spiral bound steno’s until the time comes when you do sit down and go through them one by one, page by page, line by line, reading your thoughts and remembering ‘when.’ You’ll be surprised at what’s worth saving when you sift through the Do Lists from years gone by.

Writing for a living is serious work – but there’s also room for it to be fun. If you’re ready to explore the writing life and aren’t sure where to begin, e-mail us – tell us your story, we can help you get started. Click on “View my full Profile” then right-click the “EMail” button and copy/paste our address into your compose form.

Use the Write Language

Every industry speaks its own language. For those on the inside, industry language (or jargon as it’s often called) rolls off the tongue easily, and is readily understood. However, to those outside that particular industry, the words can sound as foreign as English does to one who speaks only Japanese (or Italian, or Spanish, or Armenian – or any other language you care to insert.)

As a business writer you must learn the language of the industry you’re writing for, and be able to translate it into the language of the market you’re writing to. Typically, that means learning multiple sets of industry jargon.

For example, you’ve landed a writing assignment for an article about the impact of repeat-offender crime in the local community. You will choose different words if your article will appear in a Law Enforcement Journal than you will if you’re writing for a Business Magazine. Your goal would be the same: to convey a clear message with consistent information - but you will be writing to vastly different audiences. You would approach your subject from a different perspective, too. (Ask me about Write Angles.)

I consider The Rule of Write Language to be one of the most important tips for writers.

Here’s another example. A nationally based non-profit organization has asked you to write a grant proposal to obtain funding from a Community Foundation. Your client (the NPO) speaks one language while your audience (the CF) understands another. As an effective business writer, your most valuable resource is your ability to tell your client’s story in the language of your audience. It sounds easier than it really is.

Your market research skill is one of the most important implements in your writers’ toolbox. Learn to use it well. Immerse yourself in your NPO’s world before you start writing.

• Study everything they have in print;
• Talk with staff in every department (know how the departments work together to make the organization function as a whole);
• Ask what the words mean when they use industry jargon;
• Learn where your client organization fits into their (larger) industry; (and)
• Know the role their industry serves in society.

Then apply the same techniques to learning about your local CF.

• Pay close attention to their Mission Statement;
• Study their annual report (know who they’ve previously funded, how many grants they award each year, and know the average dollar amount of their typical grant);
• Find out about their funding priorities – and know how your NPO fits into them;
• Know their funding cycles and work to their deadlines; (and)
• Discover all you can about the people who decide which grants the CF will fund.

You won’t use everything you’ve learned in a single grant proposal, but the depth of your newly gained knowledge will provide background for your work and will allow you to pitch grant writing opportunities to other NPO clients at other times. (Ask me about The Write Fit.) And, besides all that, your marketing research will benefit you as a writer in other ways.

• You’ll have answers to industry related questions – or know who to call to get them;
• When new opportunities arise to write for either market you’ll have a competitive edge (backed up by your research – you can write what you know);
• By its very nature market research builds your personal network;
• Networking builds your reputation as a business writer; (and)
• You will have learned the jargon of another industry, as well.

Sharpening your market research skills builds your value as a reusable resource, both to your clients and to those who fund them.

If you've found this information helpful or would like more information, please let us know. Click on "View my complete profile" to send an e-mail.